Unfaithful

Dear Internet,

I'm sorry. There I said it. I'm sorry for not spending quality time with you lately, but I promise it's not you, it's me.  I know that sounds cliché, but it's true. You've always been there for me and you have done nothing to cause me to stray. But I think it's best to be honest with you, because if we can't be honest with each other (or at least fake sincerity), what kind of a relationship do we really have. So...here's the truth: there's another woman...and a man...and a few teams of them. Yes, it's true...I've been spending all my time lately with Michael Phelps, Nastia Liukin, Shawn Johnson, Jonathan Horton, Dawn Harper and the entire US Olympic Team and they've got me doing things I would never do before. It's all so exciting! I watched the opening ceremonies (all four hours) with my jaw on the floor and stayed up to the wee hours yesterday to watch table tennis and badminton live. Badminton! And I didn't even know it was spelled badminton until this week! It's bad and I'm afraid only getting worse. I've been crying at VISA commercials and rooting for Russian gymnasts. What? I was a Ronald Reagan/Cold War era kid! How can I root for Russia? As long as they beat China...GO RUSSIA!

I also need to admit that I've been using you, internet. I used you to go here and here. I'm sorry, but I can't promise that I won't do it again. I'm not saying you did anything wrong, but even the Today show is more interesting than you. Is that too harsh? Remember, we promised honesty to each other. And I'm honestly not interested in you. But it's not you, it's me. Maybe it is a little bit you.

Internet, we're not finished, we can work through this. Before you know it, we'll once again be surfing hand in hand to our favorite sites: craigslist, ebay, drudgereport, dooce, consumerist...all the old familiar places. We'll make new memories and have a fresh start. I promise.

I promise I'll come back. But first, the women's water polo team is playing for gold.  Go girls!  U-S-A! U-S-A!  

(rw)

P.S.  I've posted this for all the world to see on Randy Elrod's Watercooler Wednesday post.

Comments

[Angela Hart]

If you are having withdrawals, rent Chariots of Fire. It helps with the detox.

[Audra Krell]

Totally hilarious. Thanks for the enjoyable post!

[Amy Michel]

I believe we need to have a meeting about this addiction that we both have with the Olympics. I am waking up at 3 AM to watch track and field, trampoline, and diving... I should be sleeping, dreaming and getting ready for the 6 am swim I do each day....Then when I get to the pool..and I find that it would take 4 laps to make up the size of the pool the Phelps is swimming in...I get very depressed that his pool is bigger than mine.... so I wake up at 3....swim at 6...work at 7...home at 6...watch TEAM USA at 8...sleep at 11...AND UP AGAIN AT 3.....ARE THEY ALMOST OVER??