Knowledge is Power. Useless Power.

I have an older laptop that I use for everything. In fact, it’ll be a full 5 years old this winter. Technologically speaking, that's an eternity, but it’s doing fine for the most part. Last week, though, I had to comb through the hard drive and delete as much unnecessary information as possible to make room for some software updates. I was able to delete over 6 gigs of useless, random, or duplicate info leaving me room to spare for the updates.

If only my brain worked that way.

I have a LOT of useless information up there in the ol’ noggin and recently I’m feeling the need to comb through its hard drive and delete some uncessessary info because my memory is nearing capacity.

Just this weekend a friend and I were running an errand for his wife who needed 2 dozen 16 oz widemouth Ball mason jars and she needed ‘em quick. We left immediately for Wal-Mart which typically has one of everything. Not so this time. We got in the car, pulled out and I saw a Kroger across the street. “Hey, Kroger sells mason jars.” My buddy said, “How do you know that?” My answer: I don’t know. That is to say, I know, but I don't know why I know it. We ran in, went straight to the baking goods aisle and BINGO, 2 dozen widemouth mason jars. Full success, but it really bothered me that I had so much (any) information about where one could purchase 16 oz mason jars. That information should be relegated to grandmothers and, well, no one else really needs to know that. I know it though, yet I couldn't remember what street to turn on to get back to his house. 

Three days later I was helping Katie with a wedding she was decorating and we ran out of ribbon. We were under the gun and she gave me a piece of ribbon and said, GO! So I went. Straight to Target—because I know they have a wedding aisle within their party/crafty/giftwrap aisles (next to greeting cards, across from women’s makeup). I was back to the church in 20 minutes. Again: why do I know this stuff? I suppose the easy answer is because I’m a newlywed and I spent more time than any prospective groom should spend in that particular aisle. But how come I remembered they had spools of ivory polyester ribbon?

It’s like my brain unconsciously absorbs information I could care less about yet it has no ability to remember what time my dentist appointment is this week. That’s information I could use. Or it would be nice to know smart things, like how the dollar is doing against the Euro, but I can’t even remember the interest rate on my student loan.

I can’t remember the password to my gmail account, yet I know what song has been recorded more often than any other in history. I can’t remember my mother-in-law’s twin brother’s name, but know what time zone Indianapolis is in this month. Yes, it changes. Ask me. Why do I have to consult the menu every time I go to Peter’s Sushi? Is it the volcano roll or the dragon roll that I like? Oh, did you need to know where and when the world’s largest yard sale occurs? Good, because I know that. I would rather know the fundamental differences between Hinduism, Buddhism, and Confusionism and would rather not know all the original members’ names of Quiet Riot, Iron Maiden, and The Scorpions. Yet, I’ve managed to keep those facts intact.

I am a storehouse of the unnecessary, a treasure trove of the worthless.

I am the anti-Google.

(rw) 

Comments

[A. Skart]

I am likewise full of seemingly useless information. Leif says I'm good on roadtrips.

[JSizzle]

Indianapolis stays eastern now...;)
just thought i'd add to the chaos...

[JD in Canada]

If it makes you feel any better, my husband doesn't remember anything important *OR* trivial!

[Nicole]

I think we all go through that, remembering random things that pop into our heads weeks, months or years later.

[Randy]

just a comment to my sister: We lived in North Richland Hills, TX not Hurst. And our address was 6528...haha. Google it!

[Jennifer C]

Oh yeah, and in case you want to add this to the useless knowledge, Wal-Mart considers the jars "seasonal" you can find them in the summer when folks are "canning"...why do I know that?

[your sister]

I remember our phone number from 3608 collard ct, hurst TX 76180....do you? didn't think so :)

it was 498-4129

hee hee

[The Wife]

if only you could remember where you put your glasses, your phone, your ipod. Should I go on?
TEST: What day does our trash go out?

[Jennifer C]

Don't know if this makes you feel any better, but my brain is wired exactly like that. I guess since I am a chick, that probably DOESN'T...sorry.

[Ric]

Will you be my partner if I ever decide to participate in a Trivial Pursuit contest? :-)