For me,
trying to learn intense recording software is like setting down and trying to start
(and finish) War and Peace in a day. In Russian. In Braille. The learning curve
is—how do you say?—steep. Steep, as in, Mt. Kilimanjaro is steep.
It’s
something I’ve been meaning to do, though, for eight years. That’s slightly on
the pathetic side. I was in my early thirties when I got my first recording
equipment. It was a portable device that had everything you need, built right
in. No need for a separate computer, so went the sales pitch, just plug in and record. Not a problem. That seemed simple enough. Oh yeah, there were about 1,300 buttons, knobs, faders, levers, and pulleys crammed onto
the 14x20 surface around of the machine. I broke all kinds of child labor laws
hiring various toddlers whose fingers were small enough to hit the record
button. Never really got the hang of that particular device.
Then I moved on to the famed ProTools software about four years ago. This too was an all-inclusive package with a small interface allowing me to get sounds from a guitar or a microphone into the computer (ahhh…the files are IN the computer). I bought a nice microphone, bought a little keyboard, mic stands, cables, speakers…everything to complete the set-up. Then I sat down to make my first recording. I double-click on the ProTools icon, wait a moment, and before I know it I’m hearing the faint whizzing and whirring of a hard drive in motion, all the while, unbeknownst to anyone (save maybe Steve Jobs) RAM was getting gobbled up like a Thanksgiving turkey at a homeless shelter. Beep. What’s that? Oh, it’s some sort of message from my computer. Let’s see. You should quit while you’re ahead. The road before you will be marked with despair, frustration, and expensive trips to a pro audio store near you (click here to find the nearest authorized ProTools technician). Uhmm. What? Actually it said something more along the lines of Gobbledy-gook blah blah technical words blah blah 01100101 etc BORING.
Paralysis. To make a long story short, I used it all of
10-15 hours, and about 13.5 of those hours were spent looking through the PDF
manual. I just wanted to hit a button and hear the songs in my head coming from
my speakers.
So, anyway,
I got the itch to record again a few months ago and hatched a plan. I
dug out the old ProTools interface only to find out that while technology had
continued to progress, my old software became completely inoperable. So…I
decided to downgrade to an older version Apple’s operating system (nerd alert!).
Turns out this older version was still too new for the old ProTools. In fact,
ProTools didn’t even offer an upgrade from such an old version. Aargh. This was gonna cost me deep if I went
forward. Like, a lot of money. That would’ve meant less food and shelter for
me. Nope. I like my roof and coffee. So does Katie. I’m not bowing.
After many
sleepless soul-searching nights, some practical instruction by a friend who
knows what he’s doing, and a new favorite (and less expensive) recording
program, I’m FINALLY up and running. Well, if by “running” you mean
“tripping every other step and spilling coffee all over my shirt while simultaneously running into walls, both theoretical and literal.” I’ve actually been able to get a few things recorded. They’re
primitive, at best, but still sound better than pretty much any Pavement
record.
Join me here
tomorrow for another installment of Randy’s Favorite Things. ProTools will NOT
be on the list.
(rw)
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