Dear (insert name here)
First of all, my heartfelt apologies (not really) for the
lack in humorous observational content as of late. Typically I try to write
these (as Katie calls them) “bloggy-boos” in the morning hours between 8-10.
After that, my day is rolling along like a train running 45 minutes behind
schedule. Of course, if I would prepare these things in advance, my train would
always be on time. I think I can, I think I can.
This, of course, has absolutely nothing to do with what
I’m writing about today. I just started writing a brief apology to those of you
(about 100 altogether) who find some sort of joy (torture?) to type in my
little ole web address and read my words. I appreciate it. I really do. It’s
pretty cool that anyone would find it that
interesting. For me to go to website it pretty much needs to deal with guitars,
music, or Macs.
But you, you are my faithful, loyal few. And that’s why
I’m asking this of you today: give me $1,000 in small, unmarked bills, do not
touch the silent alarm, and... Wait. Oops. That’s a note for later on today.
You didn’t read that. Ok…here’s what I’m getting at. If you like what you’re
seeing here, why not share it? In an incredibly vain (and a little
embarrassing) way, I’m asking you to do some marketing for me. I’m trying to
increase my readership and, as silly as it is, I’m kinda serious about this blogging thing. I’m proud of it, committed to it, and maybe one day it’ll pay for
my kids college. Or a chicken sandwich.
So…all that to say (can you tell I’m not so good at
asking people to do me any favors?), if you have any friends who enjoy a funny
story from time to time, or like an anecdotal, observational thought here or
there, or don’t have anything better to do, invite them over here to the party.
To make it easier, I’ve written you a sample email to send out.
My dear
good-looking, smart friend.
Let me clue you in
to a great opportunity. No, you don’t have to sell anything, you simply be
yourself and the checks will begin arriving in a matter of weeks.
Wait. Once again, that is an email intended for another
group of people. Take two.
Dear smart and
funny friend, (you may consider including their actual name. It makes the note seem more “personal.”)
Let me invite you
to the party. What party, you ask? I’ve never been invited to a party, you
mutter under your breath, especially by this person sending me this unexpected
email. Why haven’t they called lately? They still owe me $50. (I’m taking
some liberties here, but the point is that your note will get them “thinking.”)
I’ve been spending
valuable work/study time reading what could probably be described as the
funniest, most culturally important blog of our time. It’s by a man who is
sometimes described as “funny,” or “articulate” or, “deluded” by himself and/or
others.
To get there, go to
www.randywilliams.com (if you’re a nerd, you can make this a “hot link,”
but in the Williams house, a “hot link” is something you grill) and enjoy a little free entertainment
during these taxing financial times. You’ll be glad you did and I’ll get a $50
referral fee which I can use to pay you back (you won’t really get a referral
fee, but this will create “trust” in your “friend” and will “trick” them into
coming to the site).
You’re welcome,
Your good friend (“buddy”
works just as well here)
Copy. Paste. Send.
(rw)
